Okay, I don't normally do this, but this issue is close to me, so I'm asking your help.

First, allow me to give you some background.

As many of you who know me well know, I love the outdoors. I love to spend my time off outside, enjoying the view from a mountaintop, from the top of the Grand Canyon, wherever. For me, being outdoors is a spiritual experience where I feel myself moving closer to God; the wilderness is where I go when all I want is to find God. I cannot begin to explain the amount of healing that has taken place over the years I have spent in the wild, the lessons I've learned about myself, others, and about God. Not only that, I believe very deeply in protecting the wilderness areas in our borders, making sure they are undeveloped and unscarred by human hands. They are all we have left to us that is untouched and undeveloped. We need these to remain wild so that we may be able to save these lands for our children and their children so that they can experience God's creation just like He intended: unsullied, wild, and undeveloped. Imagine a world where our children cannot experience the wonder of a wild animal fearfully looking their way, or a world where even the most remote places are really only reachable by a car, or where the wilderness is just a memory, not a reality.

What I'm saying is this: I believe we should be stewards of our lands, of our environment, of our world. One of the ways we can do that is to set aside certain lands and forbid them from being developed: we should keep them from being touched by anything that will permanently alter their landscape, be that logging, drilling for oil or natural gas, mining, even residential development. That way, we can ensure that we not only keep our wild places, but also that we can keep the environment clean.

Today, we have begun to encroach on the boundaries we have already set up. Congress and the White House are discussing bills that would allow a moratorium on the drilling ban for deep offshore drilling and would also allow drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Reserve. For those of you not familiar, while opening those areas would indeed provide more crude oil for consumption in the market, it would come at a cost. The ANWR is located in what is the last of the great frontiers left to us in the US. If we do begin to develop this area, we will, in my opinion, irreversibly and inexcusably affect a pristine area of the US that should not be developed. We have no good reason to do so. Gas is expensive, yes, but it is not beyond affordable. We should look first to cut our consumption, not increase our supply to ease the price tag on this most coveted commodity.

So, I am asking you to do a few things for me:

First, review the issue and research it yourself. Find out where you stand on it. Come to your own conclusion about the matter.

Second, tell somebody. By somebody I really mean your Congressmen or women and the President himself. You can do that by clicking here for Congress (follow the drop down menu at the top right of the page, choose your state and go from there) and here for the White House.

Yes, I want you to side with me and tell Congress and the President to continue the ban on drilling in Alaska and to protect our established wilderness areas. More than that, however, I want you to be informed. Please do something.

And thank you all for your time; I appreciate it and promise not to do this too much.

David

I haven't had much free time lately, hence the unusual amount of posts of late. And, honestly, this will likely become the usual amount because I'm told life will only become even more busy from here. Joy...

No, but really, I decided it's time to give a very brief update on life in Nashville.

Where to start (cause there's a lot)?

Well, I'm working as a server/waiter/whatever you want to call it at PF Chang's. I really enjoy working there; my coworkers are great, my managers are even better, and it's keeping me happy. I'm pretty sure right now that waiting tables is not my life calling, but for this part of my life, I'm ok with doing it. It's fun interacting with people in that way. I've discovered that I need a job that is high on human interaction (or that I need to be able to interact with humans period) to be happy in life. I specifically found that I need to be serving people and pouring into their lives, connecting with them in order to be fulfilled in life. That's a lot to learn from waiting tables, but I learned it while working at PF Chang's.

I've been pretty busy in the studio. My little small business/startup/freelance engineer thing is going pretty well. All this past month I've been working on getting financial stuff hammered out so that I can keep track of all my money and be ready to pay taxes next year; I want to make sure I write off everything I can to save as much money as possible come tax day. Plus, I want to make sure I'm running a financially sound business that won't implode from mismanagement. I'm making sure I know where all my money is, where it is going, and what it is doing where it is going. I've also been getting more paid work, plus have been working with a few new clients. That's really nice, too.

Now that I've found a place to live, I'm working on a church to call home. That's a work in progress, as is starting to build community with other believers, especially other guys.

All in all, I've been working hard; I put in 60-70 hours per week between my two jobs. I generally leave home around eight or nine in the morning and often won't get back until after ten or sometimes around midnight or later. I've gotten to a point of wearing out until this happened (and this story is the real reason for the post):

In the studio this week we worked with a guy and his wife to help him record a rock opera he's been working on for the past eight years. His dreams for this opera are pretty great; he hopes to use it as an evangelistic tool at churches. The music has been great, really sixties (think the Beatles, Cream, Yes, Guess Who). Its pretty rad.

Anyway, seeing the heart of this guy and how his little baby is coming to light, this burden in his life that God placed on him start to come to fruition has been great for me. I've been happy to be a part of that process, even if in a small way. As I left the studio on Thursday, after saying goodbye to the couple, I was overwhelmed by the greatness of it all. God used that time to remind me why I'm here in the first place: to serve Him and to make Him known in the world. I got to be a small part of that today and it is really amazing to think that the work we do here is literally going all over the world, carrying the Gospel and the news of Christ's love to others. Being a small part of that, for me, is why I'm here. It's what I want to do with my life, make a difference in the lives of others, to be God's hands and feet in whatever way I can. This week, I got to do that. It was great.

I needed that because I had been working so hard that I lost focus on why I was here and was starting to forget and get worn out. So now, my focus is shifting from getting my finances in order to getting my perspective right: to remember that I'm serving God and God alone; when things are right with Him, all other things fall into place.

In short, my time here has been a learning experience for me and I'm not anywhere close to being ready for any of the finals that are no doubt headed my way, but I'm excited and amazed at how much things are shifting for me. It's been a growing season for sure.

David

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and it has led me to a few conclusions that I feel the need to share.

Lately, I’ve been observing people’s desire to have “real” man around (specifically women) and I’ve really started questioning what a “real” man is. I've come to a few conclusions, or I have rather been reminded of a few conclusions that I have already come to, and have solidified them while at the same time come to some new conclusions. I would like to share them with you, should you decide to brave the length of this post. Please do so. I think is well worth your time and beneficial to both men and women to understand what I have come to understand.

I've really gotten frustrated with the concept of a "real" man. In fact, I've really thought about it and I've come to the conclusion that a "real" man simply does not exist. Yes, I said it, a "real" man does not exist, never has, never will.

Allow me to explain.

I get frustrated with the concept of a "real" man for one reason and one reason alone: it is used improperly. Most of the time I hear about a "real" man, it's from a girl who is essentially trying to get a man or guy or whatever to behave or act in a way that suits her fancy. Often, she is trying to manipulate him to behave; she is trying to tame him. Even more, she is bemoaning the fact that the guy will not act according to how she thinks a "real" man should behave and will inadvertently chop his legs out from underneath him, make him doubt his manliness, and cause him to do nothing. He will, in every sense of the word, cease to be a man at all.

What these women are failing to see is something very important. It strikes at the core of men when women doubt our manhood. You see, there is something in every man that wants to be good enough. There is something in every man that wants to be strong. There is something in every man that will spend his entire life wondering if he'll ever measure up to that standard, if he'll ever measure up to that high goal. Every man is haunted by a question, one that, if not answered, will haunt him for the rest of his life. He will live and die by that answer. The way he looks at himself, his family, his world, is shaped by this question and by how he answers it.

What's that question? It's simple: “Am I a man?” Or, to put it more eloquently, more in terms of what I'm trying to say: “Am I a ‘real’ man?”

Don't believe me? Ask any man, and if he's honest with you, he'll tell you it's true.

Before I go on, I would like to point out the importance of this question to the women reading this. I believe that every woman is haunted by a question. I believe that she defines herself by this question. I believe the consequences of answering, or not answering, this question is the same as the man's question. From the talks I've had with women, the observations I've made, the things I've read, I'm convinced that women have one question they want answered just the same way men do.

What's that question? It's pretty simple, really. It is simply “Am I beautiful?”

I have seen women struggle with this question for years. I've seen the impacts it can have when a woman becomes convinced she is not. And, from what I can tell, it has the same impact on a woman that a man's question has on him. The point I want to make is this: me telling a girl she is fat or ugly or whatever has the same effect on a girl as a girl telling me that I'm not man enough. On the other hand, me telling a girl that hers is a fair, lovely face and that she's a moon-like beauty has the same effect on a woman as her telling me she thinks I'm strong enough to fight the fight before me or that I'm capable of leading her.

Now that I've made that point, I'll continue.

Guys are haunted by this question and answering it is of the utmost importance to who they are. And when a guy thinks that he is not a man, his whole world is flipped upside down and the way he relates to those around him is changed. So, what happens is that when a woman tries to call a guy to be a “real” man, nine times out of ten she is saying it in a condescending way that makes him feel like nothing more than a boy. She, in essence, kicks him in the gut, knocks the wind out of him, and he stays there doing nothing. And when he gets up, he no longer has the desire to be a man, or at least doubts his ability to be one. He gives up.

Again, for the benefit of the women reading this, because this post is mainly written for you: you know how it felt when you first felt like a guy was telling you were ugly? When you doubted if you were worth pursuing when that guy rejected you? When you asked if you were really good enough for anyone to want to have around, friend or otherwise? You know how you doubted your abilities as a woman, wondered if you had any beauty worth showing to anyone? Wondered if your jewel had been tarnished? Do you remember the rejection you felt and still have to grapple with to this very day?

That’s similar to how we feel when you tell us we’re not “real” men. When you try to make us act like men by telling us that is how a “real” man would act and make us feel like we’re little boys, we feel the same way. We wonder if we’re strong enough. We wonder if we’re good enough to pursue women. We wonder if the strength we have will ever be enough. We wonder why anyone would even want to have us around. We feel rejected and have to grapple with that sense of rejection for a long, long time.

And now that you know that, please take it into account. I’m tired of women attacking men, of women being ok with questioning a guy’s manliness and being willing to deliver hurtful shots at a man because “he’s a man; he can take it.” NO WE CAN’T!!! We seem like we can because society teaches us to hide that hurt deep inside us and that strength is required and we can never be weak. And we need to be strong, and we want to be strong, but you have got to realize that there are times when men need to be able to be weak. Runners tire toward the end of the race; soldiers fatigue during war; men get worn out by life. It’s a fact. Let us recharge when we need to, be weak when we need to. You’ll find that our capacity for being strong will increase when we are allowed to heal and part of healing means being able to admit that there is actually a wound that needs to be healed. I promise, if you will allow us to do that, we will become stronger. We will come to you less and less. We will learn how to find healing from God, if you pray for us, if you support us, if you direct us to him. We will learn how to find healing in each other (and when to find healing in each other), but you ladies must be willing to support us in that.

A last word of warning, before I explain why I don’t believe a “real” man exists and why I hate the concept of “real” man.

Have you ever seen a wounded animal, say a wounded cat or maybe a dog? Have you ever seen the hurt and stopped to try to help it, but when you got close, it suddenly snapped at you or clawed at you or did something you didn’t think it had the strength to do? You know the surprise you had? And did you notice that it was hiding from you? That it was in its own little hole trying to get away from the world? Men are like that, too. We all have wounds we carry, wounds we have to deal with. And because we are men, we have that wild instinct within us, just like that cat or dog. And when you come close to that wounded part of us, sometimes we snap. Or, maybe you’ve seen it too in a different way: like that dog or cat, we will hide. Ever feel like we don’t care about you? It’s not true, we do. We’re just hiding because we’re afraid of being hurt. It’s a façade. Really, it is. It’s a defense mechanism, just like that cat or dog.

Many women are well-meaning and want to help us, but please know what you’re getting into. We have that instinct in us when we are weak and hurt; we have seen women try to help, but only hurt us more, so we snap at the next one who tries. We learn to defend the hurt because it keeps us from getting hurt more. If you want to heal us, be aware that the wounded animal will rear its head. Be ready for that. Know what sets that wounded animal into defense mode and avoid it. Don’t tell us to be real men and cut us deeply. Tell us we are and expect us to act like it. We will. Don’t undermine us by making us feel like we’re worthless. Deal with us as gently as you would want us to deal with you and you will be amazed at the result.

Now, on to the part you’ve all been waiting for and the cliché question that must be answered by a post of this type: I will now begin to describe to you what a “real” man is, how he acts, what he does.

Donald Miller first brought this up in his book To Own a Dragon and I am indebted to him for pointing it out. I am expanding on a concept he first brought out.

Let me start by saying that a “real” man doesn’t exist. Never has, never will.

“What do you mean?” you say. Let me explain.

The concept of a “real” man is much like the concept of beauty: it is open to interpretation or, as it has so eloquently been put, “is in the eye of the beholder.” There is no real set definition. It’s arbitrary. What one man may think about a woman being beautiful, another will disagree. What one woman may think takes to be a “real” man, another will disagree. There is no real standard for “real” men. It’s confusing, misleading, and—I would argue—demeaning, degrading, and destructive. We should stop telling men to be “real” men and simply tell them to be men.

Donald Miller points out that God has a definition of manhood. Wanna hear it? It’s pretty simple. A real man is someone who has the proper hardware. That’s it. By God’s definition, a real man has—allow me to be frank—a penis. And that’s all it takes. He refers to all men as men. And that’s how God answers our questions about if we are men: “Yes, you have the proper hardware.” In fact, the answer is more like this: “You are a man. Why? I made you that way. I created you to be a man. You have what it takes; I have placed it inside you. It is there. Now act like it.” And that’s it.

And so to me, the question is not “Am I a ‘real’ man?” The answer to that is yes I am. I was made that way and I have what it takes. The question, rather, is “What kind of man am I?” You see, God calls all men men, but he doesn’t call them all the same. To him, some are righteous men, upright men, or are “a man after God’s own heart” while others are wicked men, evil men, or unrighteous men. And so to him, the “man” part is a given. It’s the righteous part that I must choose to work on, the righteous part I must choose to be. Again, to him, it’s a given that I’m a man. The question is how will I use that? Will I be a man like King David, Peter, or Paul or will I be a man like King Ahab, Herod, or Judas? Will I be “a man after God’s own heart” or not?

If you want me to do the right thing, don’t tell me to be a “real” man. Doing so only seeks to tame me, to fence me in, to define me. I’m Wild at Heart, I don’t want to be tamed, fenced in, or defined. I will buck that. I will get angry. I will fight it. If you want me to keep being wild, stop it. But, if you want me to do the right thing, tell me to be a righteous man. Tell me to be an upright man. Appeal to the part of me that wants to do the right thing and I will respond. I will stand up and fight.

I also think that God has something to say to address the question the girls are asking, the one about beauty. Want to know? The answer is pretty simple. He says this: “You are beautiful. Why? I made you that way. I created you to be beautiful. I don’t make ugly, worthless things. You are good enough; I have placed it inside you. Now act like it.”

Again, the question is not “Am I beautiful?” The answer is yes you are. The question is “How are you going to use that?” Are you going to be righteous or not? Are you going to be Ruth, Mary, or Ester or are you going to be Jezebel or Bathsheba? You are good enough. You are beautiful. You are worth it, worth the fight. Now, how are you going to use it? You have a strength within to reveal to the world. Your jewel is not worthless. God made strong and beautiful, now allow him to show you how to use it.

There is something I want to communicate to everyone in all this: we are all loved, we are all worthwhile, we are all good enough because God, in his grace and mercy, has chosen to make us that way. We just need to come to him to heal us so we can walk without fear.

Finally, please learn this and take it to heart. I think that if we were to all understand this and were to use a bit of empathy on one another, we would be surprised at how much men started acting like men and how much women would walk in beauty. Each gender would learn a lot more self-confidence. And God would begin to heal those wounds, which would allow us to heal other’s wounds.

So, be blessed and may you learn how to trust in God to show you your true worth.

David

"A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission, a life purpose, and he needs to know his name. Only then is he fit for a woman, for only then does he have something to invite her into." –John Eldredge

"The wapiti, as the Indians called him, is one of the most elusive creatures we have left in the lower forty-eight. They are the ghost kings of the high country, more cautious and wary than deer, and more difficult to track. They live at higher elevations, and travel farther in a day, than nearly any other game. The bulls especially seem to carry a sixth sense to human presence. A few times I've gotten close; the next moment they are gone, vanishing silently into aspen groves so thick you wouldn't have believe a rabbit could get through. [. . .]

"My hunt, you see, actually has little to do with elk. I knew that before I came. There is something else I am after, out here in the wild. I am searching for a more elusive prey . . . something that can only be found through the help of wilderness.

"I am looking for my heart." -- John Eldredge